My Life in the Midst of Fear

My Life in the Midst of Fear

I was soaring!

Can you recall a time when you got an absolutely amazing idea or vision and you felt as though your whole world would be forever changed? You get so amped up on this amazing dream that you’re on fire, take action, and feel like you’ll never be stopped?! Like you have wings of an eagle that can soar forever and never tire.

That’s how I felt when I started this blog. Y’all, I had so many different topic ideas for the various categories of this blog. I typed them up and saved them in my documents. I just knew I had enough content to last me all year and even longer.

My plan was to stick with the list of topics, but I would often find myself writing about things that weren’t exactly on the list but were important to me at the time. God would give me a message and help me just flow when I sat down to write. Or I would be in bed and He would speak to my heart and immediately I would sit up and just write and write. He even gave me ideas while I was in church sometimes. He was my inspiration. My job was to complete His will and provide His people with Christian-based methods to navigate various aspects of life and present and/or explain His word in the process.

Yet, knowing all of this and feeling amazing about what God was doing in my life, I let the enemy back me into a corner of fear.

But see, it wasn’t even all at once…

With this new blogger life, I knew that it would take being more active on social media and having decent photos upfront would be very important. I felt that everything would fall into place. I had a good bit of photos to choose from or make something work even if it seemed like nothing. But, it was actually working!

My sister, Alexis, and I had planned a day to take one another’s photos, but unfortunately, the weather wasn’t on our side that weekend. After that, things kept seeming to happen to prevent us from rescheduling. I had a vision though and a plan. I wanted a collection of photos that I could use to plan ahead for social media and blog posts. When that didn’t happen, I became discouraged.

Me getting in my own way…

New bloggers are also encouraged to have social media stories and even post some live videos. So with this plus the idea of posting everyday, I became overwhelmed and discouraged once I saw things wouldn’t pan out as planned.

I let this consume me and I kept telling myself that I should focus on building my social media presence then come back to creating more blog posts. At the time, I honestly thought that was a good idea.

But what really began to happen is fear set in. Once things weren’t going accordingly, I began believing that people would think my stories weren’t interesting, that my posts were average, and that because of those things that my link wasn’t even worth clicking on.

He trapped me y’all, the enemy l mean. Or so he thought..

Ugh! The devil and his antics.

I know I have a vision, a destiny, a goal, and a God that can do beyond my wildest expectations. Why then was my go-getterness and faith being attacked? Moreover, why was I allowing it to happen?

The enemy was even after my prayer life. Slowly I began sleeping longer on some days cutting my devotion short or not waking up in time at all on other days. I kept telling myself that I needed the sleep and I’ll do worship in the car or listen to a sermon instead.  But it wasn’t enough.

It had gotten to a point where my devotions were becoming less meaningful. I couldn’t seem to  find the right scriptures or readings from the books in the Bible that truly spoke to me like they were before.

What was happening?!

I don’t know the answer other than the enemy had put some type of stronghold on me that I needed the Lord to break. I realized that I was, as my current reading plan (Enough: Silence The Lies That Steal Your Confidence by Sharon Jaynes) puts it, “a prisoner to faulty thinking.”

Well, now that I’ve recognized my problem, I can take action and work with God to turn my situation around!

I’m only human

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Wow, she’s going through this and yet is supposed to be helping her readers fight through fear…” Weeellll, let me just stop you right there and kindly explain that NO ONE is susceptible from the lies of the enemy. He is here to destroy everything and everyone that God created. All of God’s good works, the enemy will work against, especially towards those who are faithful to God.

Also, I remembered something.. God’s plans far exceeds my own. So, instead of constantly making my own plans, I should rely on God’s guidance through all of this. I should follow HIS plans!

GET IT GIRRLLL!!! (or boy)

We all fall short sometimes, in life and in our faith. What matters is the break-through! I encourage you to get yours! And know, with God on my side, I will be working on mine right along with you!

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2 Comments

  1. Yasmin
    September 20, 2018 / 7:29 am

    Fear is something that we all struggle with. Fear can also prevent us from doing God’s will. That’s why it’s important to remember that God has equipped us to do what He planned for us. Thank you for your authenticity and your truth. Know that you are not alone on this journey. XOXO!

    • Alyssa
      Author
      September 20, 2018 / 8:05 pm

      Yasmin, you are absolutely right. Fear will hinder us from continuing to the do the works God called us to do. We will all experience fear in some way, I just hope that we can all rise above it and remember to trust in Him. It’s not something that’s easy to admit, but it feels good sharing and letting others know we’re in it together.

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