Recognizing The Comparison Game and Deception of Others

Recognizing The Comparison Game and Deception of Others

“Things are never what they seem (He’s right, he’s right).

Many don’t say what they mean (He’s right, he’s right).”

Now, if that does not ring a bell, those are the lyrics from a song in Pocahontas II. I’m not entirely sure why but those lyrics come to head quite often. There’s just so much crazy truth to it!

“Things are never what they seem.”

In today’s society, we get so easily caught up in “how it seems” others are doing based on social media posts. It always seems like people are having the BEST times! Liiiike some people post themselves doing something quite often. I’m just like, ‘I could’ve sworn they were in school and had a full-time job and doing this and that on the side, how do they find time to do x, y, and z activities/travels and not look tired or stressed?! And they got their nails done, hair done, everything done!’

Typically, we are not going to know the physical, emotional, or spiritual struggles people actually endure just because they mostly or only post the happy moments. We all know this.

The Comparison Game is SO HARD to avoid picking up a player piece and rolling the dice. With each move depending on how the things you see make you feel – maybe inspired or insecure – you either move a few game spaces forward or backward.

For example

Scenario 1: A young woman sees a friend/associate post a picture of her and her husband in front of a house they just bought. That young woman is happy for them for a moment, double-taps or likes it (move 2 spaces forward), then thinks to herself, ‘We’re the same age, but she’s married and has a house, and I’m single and still living with my parents/roommate (move 3 spaces backward).’

Scenario 2: Meanwhile, that other woman (married homeowner) sees a post of that same young woman in front of a school sign where she’s getting her Master’s degree. The married homeowner double-taps/likes the post and thinks, ‘Aw, that’s so great for her (move 2 spaces forward). All I have is my Bachelor’s degree; I’ll probably make way less money than her. I wish I would’ve gone back to school when things would’ve been easier (move 4 spaces backward).’

When or if we do things like that, the only person we’re hurting is OURSELVES! We don’t know the whole story of people’s lives!

So, we should recognize the signs and not allow ourselves to daydream about our lives as if we wanted to live like others.

Take the example, the homeowner could have borrowed money from her parents for the down payment and/or first few mortgages. The woman getting her Master’s degree could be on academic probation for whatever reason. Both individuals still want to share what “the world” deems as acceptable and high achievements. Sometimes, it’s just about the aesthetics. So yeah, they’re going to pose and smile.

“Many don’t say what they mean.”

Have there ever been times when you were conversing with someone or a group and got the feeling that they weren’t saying what they truly believed? This probably happens often, especially if the people in a conversation aren’t exactly close or trust each other fully.

People can become uncomfortable sometimes and really not know what to say. In those instances I believe there’s nothing wrong with masking your true beliefs versus expressing them to a group of strangers, unreliable people, or gossips.

I’m more of an observer if I’m ever in the company of strong-minded individuals. I’m not a fan of conflict so I try not to get too involved unless I absolutely have to or if I’m asked to share my thoughts on an issue. I’m all about keeping the peace and remaining neutral, but I definitely stand for what I believe is right.

One thing comes to mind given all of this, and to this day it still surprises me. I’ve been called judgmental by a few people before – in one sitting mind you – who clearly did not know me if they felt that statement was an accurate depiction of me.

Needless to say, I was kind of hurt by that, especially since a couple of those same people confided in me with their struggles or situations and received only positive feedback from me and never had/have I disclosed our conversations.

So sure, sometimes people don’t say what they mean and sometimes it could be for good reasons, and there’s nothing wrong with that. People either go along with what others say or are like me and choose to simply keep quiet.

Something to look forward to…

This blog post is really just an introduction for some of the topics I will be covering in the near future. I really want to dive into methods we can use to decrease and diminish participating in The Comparison Game.

In the process of conquering that villain, we will cover how we can simply just be HAPPILY ECSTATIC for someone WITHOUT discouraging ourselves or being negative about a person in the process.

I will also cover topics regarding how to handle yourself in conflicting situations and how to respond wisely when needed.

So, stick with me and we will break through these walls TOGETHER!

So, let’s talk!..

Do you find yourself playing The Comparison Game when you get on social media? How so?

Have you witnessed verbal deception from others? How did/do you handle it?

What are some specifics you’d like me to discuss and/or further elaborate?

I want to hear from Y-O-U! Please leave your comments below!

The Biblical Scoop!

“Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.” – 2 Corinthians 10:12

“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” – 1 John 4:1

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2 Comments

  1. Yasmin
    June 7, 2018 / 10:52 pm

    The comparison game is something I believe everyone struggles with, especially myself. Your examples are spot on. I remember being in school, not having much time to enjoy myself. Then I would scroll past someone’s post regarding, “some fun activity.” It would make me feel like I needed to reconsider my journey. I had to learn to appreciate the season I was in and trust that my purpose was to be where I was and who God called me to be in that moment.

    Thanks for touching on this topic. Looking forward to reading more! ❤️

    • Alyssa
      Author
      June 8, 2018 / 2:24 am

      First comment! Yay! Thank you so much for sharing!
      You’re absolutely right. It’s so easy to quickly question how we’re navigating life compared to others. Let’s consider your story for example. I would have never guessed that you felt like you couldn’t fully enjoy yourself when you were in school. Based on “social media” it looked like you had a good balance in my eyes! I was wondering how you were handling it all! But yes, all we can and should do is enjoy the life God blesses us with and be who God says we are. So, Amen sister!!

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